Wow, was there a lot going on during Monday night’s Bachelorette episode. We got the first round of dates, two RuPaul’s Drag Race stars, Miss J of America’s Next Top Model and meme fame, a disastrous game of roller derby, chicken nuggets, and full confirmation of this year’s villain. It’s only the second week, but there is no doubt that Luke P is the villain of Hannah’s Bachelorette season. She might find him “thrilling” for now, but things are going to take a turn between him and the other guys real quick.
Luke already had the spotlight very much on him going into the episode. He was one of the men who got to meet Hannah on After the Final Rose, he had that intro package about him finding God in the shower last week, and he got the first impression rose. Also, the trailer for the season prominently features him, and things don’t look good. Namely, someone calls him a “evil, pathological liar.”
So, when Luke decided on the first group date of the season to tell Hannah that he was starting to fall in love with her, it was one of the biggest red flags in Bachelorette history.
“This is pretty crazy ‘cause it’s so soon,” Luke said during the talent portion of the Mr. Right pageant, “But I can’t hide it. Hannah, I’m genuinely starting to fall in love with you.” He then walked up to her and kissed her in front of the other guys, the audience, and Miss J, who reacted exactly as we’d all have hoped. (Yep, Luke decided his “talent” was to tell Hannah how he felt. Yep, he won the pageant.)
Later on in the evening, Hannah asked Luke how he could know he was falling in love with her so quickly, and he said, “I did start developing feelings for you before I even met you.”
It’s a whole pile of yikes.
In a confessional, Hannah said that she believed him. Meanwhile, the other guys were concerned that Luke saying something like this would mess with Hannah’s emotions, which is understandable. It’s hard to believe that someone would be falling in love so quickly, so it’s no wonder the other men might think Luke is being disingenuous. And if he is being disingenuous, then that’s not fair to the other guys, and it’s really not fair to Hannah.
Moving on to the cocktail party. Suitors often set up surprises or ways to get alone time with the lead, and Luke set up a room with a massage table. Of course. They pretty much immediately started making out with each other and things got pretty intense — until Jed walked in not knowing he’d find them with their hands all over each other.
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I want to take a moment to give Jed a round of applause for how he handled this. Hannah was freaked out. She said “fuck” so many times that the sound of her being bleeped made viewers think it was a storm warning. Hannah left the room to go find Jed, and he assured her that it’s just part of the territory and then jokingly added, “You know what I’ve noticed? There’s a lot of dudes here that are after you, isn’t that weird?" Well played, Jed. It was a hard situation to make into a positive, but he nailed it.
Anyway, then we get to the rose ceremony. Luke gets a rose, of course. But then, after the usual champagne toast that ends the episode, Luke goes to find Hannah in the room where she’s filming confessionals to tell her he just wants to talk more. This was really A Moment, because this just doesn’t happen. You think the episode’s ending, but no: more Luke.
In the room, Hannah said something to Luke about his “starting to fall in love” confession being a big deal and wondered if it was a “competitive thing”. In response, he just started speaking like he was reading from a handbook of red flag phrases. “Everything I’m telling you is 100 percent real,” he said. “I promise,” he said. “I don’t want you to have any fear in this with me,” he said. “You can trust me,” he said.”
“Run away, Hannah,” I say.
Here’s the thing: Someone saying that they’re falling in love very quickly isn’t necessarily bad on it’s own. But it is necessarily suspicious, which means that you have to look at the situation that surrounds the confession. The fact that Luke did this during a literal competition with other men and then was overly defensive about whether or not he can be trusted speaks volumes. Plus, we already know that things get dramatic and villainous with him in the trailer. The signs are all there, now we just have to see how long Luke’s villain journey takes him.